Communication & Relationships

More Than Missionary: Communicating Sexual Desires

Most of us have sexual needs and desires, but the specifics often aren’t obvious or apparent, even to people we’re intimate with. This workshops is all about strategies for communicating about our own sexuality in a healthy way. Dialog around sexuality can be a challenge for many of us, whether because some of our desires are a little (or a lot) “out there,” because we may have been raised in a society or gender role that discourages talking about personal sexuality, or simply because talking constructively about our sexual wants and needs isn’t a communication skill we’ve ever been taught. We’ll talk about how, when, and yes, whether, to broach sexual topics, as well as how to hear and respond to other people’s expressions of desire.

Guiding Through First Times

In our community we talk all the time about “taking cherries.” But what does it really mean to be the person in the role of the sexual “guide” Whether you’re introducing someone to a new kink, helping them overcome their fear of sexual intimacy, or any new erotic experience in between, the concerns are similar, even when the scale may not be. In this class, we’ll look at the spiritual, erotic, emotional and practical considerations inherent in this dynamic and build strategies and tools to better approach this role in an safe, productive, healthy, meaningful, and of course, hot way.

Making An Unusual Fetish Work

We’re all wacky in our own ways, but some more than others. What do we do when some of the things that really get us hot are also really strange? How do we explore the limits of kinks so odd that you can barely find anything on the internet? When you don’t know anyone else with your interest, how do you figure out what is and isn’t safe? When do you talk to a partner, or do you skip it and stick to fantasy and masturbation? And how do you buy earthworms, donuts, and floor polish with a straight face? Let’s get together to come up with some ideas and answers to these questions and more.

Introducing Your Monster to Your Lover

What happens when you or your partner decides to go into the deepest, ickiest personal darkness and bring something out into the light… and the bedroom? This class will focus on the “how, why, and when” of this journey. We will talk about how (and whether) to discuss, and safely, healthily, and erotically include, some of the darker aspect of yourself in your relationship and play. The class is also equally appropriate for spouses and partners. No subject for discussion will be taboo, and people should come prepared for a frank discussion of subjects that may be frightening, or disturbing.

Communication for Dating and Scoring

“Hey you, wanna fuck?” Sure there are times and places where that might work just fine, but it’s not for everywhere or everyone. Maybe you aren’t the type to walk up to someone and proposition them that way. Or maybe you are, but you can’t quite figure out how to approach your partner(s) about taking this whole kinky thing out for a spin. Perhaps you’re even someone in a long term relationship that’s gotten sexually stale who can’t find the right way to say “you know, I miss banging you on a regular basis, what can we do about it?” If any of these sound familiar, join us to talk about strategies and communication for dating and scoring.

Sex (and/or Kink) and Disability

We can’t all be perfect specimens of physical and mental health. In fact, many of us are in some way for lack of a better word, broken. This may pre-date our being sexually active, or it could be more a recent development. It can take many different forms and can affect our lives, and yes our sex lives in a wide variety of ways. Let’s get together and discuss issues such as: how does one explore safe play within our limitations, how do we find satisfying substitutions for favored activities that may now have become off limits, how do we talk to an erotic partner about our boundaries without freaking them out, and how can we incorporate our disability into our play in positive and healthy ways?

Exploring Dynamics of Trans/Cis Relationships

There are unique internal and external challenges and joys in relationships between transgender people and cisgender people. While everyone’s experience is different, there are common themes that crop up from within and without in this situation. Together we will look at some of the internal processes, communication strategies, experiences of and in community, distinctive dynamics, and more, that are sometimes found these relationships, with an eye towards being healthier, happier and more understanding partners.

Considerations for Trans*/Cis Erotic Play with Wintersong

It’s awesome when two or more people are interested in play, sex, or dating. When one or more of those people are trans*, and one or more of them are cis, there are particular communication strategies, pressures, joys, and other considerations, that can be valuable to acknowledge and work with. Whether you’re looking for a quick pickup or a lasting relationship, this workshop will help provide you with concrete tools and strategies for how these interactions can, and do, work.

Roleplay & Ageplay 

Using Pop-Culture Archetypes for Erotic Roleplay

Erotic role-play can be sexy, fun, exciting, and even scary. After all, using erotic role-play you can be anyone and do nearly anything, it is a play modality that opens up a world of possibilities. But for exactly that reason, exploring erotic role-play can be completely overwhelming! How should your “character” act? What does the “scene” look like? And how do you know if you and your partner(s) are on the same page? In this workshop we will look at an array of pop-culture archetypes from James Bond to Star Trek, Glee to Downton Abbey, and everywhere in between, with a focus on how we can use these archetypes as “shortcuts” to create shared context and help us get from the planning to the playing faster and more enjoyably.

Erotic Roleplaying for Beginners

Acting out your fantasies in the bedroom can be a perfect way to liven things up once in a while or it can be a staple of your erotic existence. Either way, erotic roleplay is a skill like any other and a little instruction and practice can go a long way. This beginners workshop will teach participants the fundamental concepts of erotic roleplaying, strategies for communication and negotiation with partner(s), where to get ideas, and how to set (and end) the scene.

Dark Roleplay

Erotic roleplay is another form of the “playing pretend” we played as kids. Because we are just “playing pretend” anything we can imagine can be played with, including what lies in the deepest darkest regions of our minds: snuff, torture, sci fi, molestation, and anything else a sick fuck can think of. In this class we’ll talk about the joys and dangers, the hows, whys, and “how do I bring THAT up” of playing with dark roleplay.

Building Roleplay Scenarios

Let’s get together and talk about how we plan, build, and erotically execute roleplay scenes that have a higher level of plot/scripting than just establishing what our roles are (“me daddy/you boy, GO!”). This isn’t a class on how to stage a sexy play for your friends and family, but instead we’re going to talk about how to keep the fun and excitement in our roleplaying lives, while still having our scenarios hit pre-determined milestones and progressing through a laid out “story arc.” We’ll talk about just how clearly laid out you want that story arc to be, when you want to “stick to the script” and when you don’t, where these ideas come from in the first place, and many more.

The Mechanical (Wo)Man in Erotic Roleplay

Seven of Nine/The Borg, Darth Vader & Luke Skywalker, Battle Angel Alita, Lt. Commander Data, The Terminators, Major Motoko Kusanagi, The Six Million Dollar Man. There is a multitude of fictional cyborgs & androids that we find alluring and erotic (don’t pretend you’ve never heard of Seven of Nine porn). But how do we incorporate this enticing concept into our own erotic play? In this workshop, we’ll examine archetypes of the sexy cyborg with an eye towards incorporating those themes into our play, examine a variety techniques for erotic roleplay, and address implementation and troubleshooting of erotic scenes.